From Meditations by Marcus Aurelius
Because you have chosen not to respect yourself, you have made your happiness subject to the opinions others have of you.
I used to recognize myself in this quote.
This quote is a warning against seeking external validation for oneself. However, it should not lead you to forget about caring for your self presentation and the impression that it can impart on others. How we are perceived can have some real consequences, and we do have some control in how we appear to others, even if we can’t directly control how they react to us. If I want to be relied on by those I care about, and this can only be achieved by projecting competence. Don’t anchor your happiness to others’ opinions of yourself—but do still care.
(How do I know when caring about others’ perceptions becomes attachment?)
Does the news bother you? Do you worry about things outside your control? Then take the time to concentrate your mind in the acquisition of some new and useful knowledge and stop it from flitting about. By the same token, guard against making the mistake of those who keep themselves so busy trying to gain control that they wear themselves out and lose their sense of direction, having no purpose to guide their actions or even their thoughts.
(Emphasis mine) Ask yourself what your actions are in service of, adjust them accordingly.